It’s 6 am. Today is my last day of work at my old job before I start my new job.
It’s been a short week anyway but it feels longer when I’m actually at work. After I gave my resignation to my current boss it’s like time just slowed.
But everything I’ve been feeling hasn’t been pure excitement to start my new job. I keep having dreams where I’m running from the cops for no reason. After being panicked about possibly, subconsciously, wanting to be a criminal I looked up what that might mean (because the internet never lies, right?).
Basically it means my subconscious feels like I’m running away from responsibility (a very safe, secure job choice on base) only to find that my responsibilities aren’t really even chasing me (of course my responsibilities, the cops, are still there and could come after me but they aren’t).
Thanks, Brain, for the nightmares.
I really will miss certain things about my current job at the CDC. I’ll miss my co-workers and feeling like I’m part of some… “Steel Pacifiers” kind of group. The support, fun, and good working groove are all things I don’t want to lose. I will definitely miss the children and those moments where I am teaching them something and I can see on their faces that it just clicks in their heads. Or the moments when we are all laughing and giggling together. I will miss the snuggles and that pride when a child is upset or hurt and wants me, specifically and no one else.
I know my new job will come with a lot of perks–paid holidays, wearing my own clothes, getting some real world experience under my belt and putting my degree to good use. I know it makes my parents happy, and of course it makes me happy. All the same fears about actually being able to do my job are there but it’s mostly first-day-of-school excitement instead of self-doubt.