For 3 or 4 years in a row on Facebook I have always done one thing, person, instance in my life that I am thankful for. But this year I’m doing something different…
At the start of 2016 if you spoke with me I would have easily fit into the “bitter millennial” category. I was bitter about the college education I had been working towards, the education system itself, my loans, my total lack of being able to find a job with graduation fast approaching, the fact that even though I was married my husband was still living in a different state. I was bitter about just everything.
My bitterness continued until May when I moved into my and my husband’s first home. I found myself having a whole new list of things to be unhappy about, despite trying to project a positive attitude on social media. I was unhappy with how married life seemed, I was unhappy I still wasn’t finding a job (let alone a job with my degree), I was unhappy that my college education seemed completely pointless and a waste of time.
In June I found and started my now old job. I was happy to have something, anything to take up my time and give me a fairly steady paycheck. I perked up for a bit. I found friends and I felt good being put to work. I felt better working with children that I loved, and having people outside of family to talk and vent to. I felt better, even, having work drama to spice up my fairly boring life here in Colorado.
My point of view about life flipped when my dad and sister came to visit in July for July 4th weekend. My dad was so proud that we had a nice home, that I lived in a safe and supportive community. He was proud that I was really living as an adult and figuring it out sooner than he had. My little sister thought it was so cool that Alex and I had a place of our own without my mom and dad’s help to boot. She was proud too and I thought that maybe… just maybe life isn’t all that bad and perhaps I have a lot more to be thankful for than I thought.
By August I felt like a totally new person. I felt like I had not just a whatever job but a great job with good hours that got me home by 5:30 each night and a paycheck to keep my bills paid and the fridge full. I felt like Alex and I were not only getting beyond the woes of learning to live with each other but building a good foundation for a healthy marriage. I felt like I was confident enough to start applying for jobs again without all of the horrible anxiety. I felt truly blessed to have the life I do.
By September, Alex’s parents came to visit. It was good to show his family how well we were doing together and what life is like out here in Colorado. It felt so good just to even see family after what felt like such a long time. I was feeling a whole lot more thankful for my job, my husband and my education. In October I got a new job using my degree and it couldn’t have been a better fit.
All the way back in February and March when I would drive over an hour every day to my classes for my last semester of college I would pray that I would find a good job using my degree, where I could fit in, that would pay well, that would have an employer who actually gave a damn about their employees, that was just laid back enough. I remember feeling by May that I would literally take any job, anywhere remotely close to Colorado Springs, doing whatever. I was ready to be an insurance sales person at that point.
But my new job is turning out to be exactly what I had been praying for. Someone once told me that God never says no. He says “Yes, not yet, or I have something better.” Those months that I had been so bitter I wish I had realized he was simply saying “not yet,” and “I have something better [than insurance salesperson].”
Now that it’s November and I’m getting “memories” from Facebook about the things I have been thankful for in the past I am seeing that there just aren’t enough days in this month to name all of the things I’m thankful for. I am thankful for my faith, the friends I have made, my wonderful employer (Worley Enterprises), my co-worker Maggie, my dogs, my home, my husband, my family, the opportunities I have worked for and been given. I’m thankful I even have the sense to be thankful and that I feel this way whether it’s November or not.